


I am proud of him

by PoemAboutCitylights



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Abu Dhabi GP, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Press Conference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 03:47:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8650180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemAboutCitylights/pseuds/PoemAboutCitylights
Summary: Some actual quotes from the Abu Dhabi press conference and lots of feelings. In a good way.





	

Nico hadn't even been properly listening to the question one of the sky sports guys had asked and was glad when Lewis was the one who answered.  
He was already thinking about the race on Sunday even though he tried his best to follow the orders of his coach and go step by step.  
Trainings first, then Qualifying and only eventually the final race. But the thought that he could be a world champion in a couple of days made his heart beat faster and the _oh so calm -_ German felt more and more nervous.  
Which startled him a bit since it was usually pretty easy for Nico to switch into a professional mode and focus on the task ahead.  
The fact that it was Lewis who could snatch away the title from him didn't help either.

What followed were questions about the two of them, like they had already suspected.  
No one would care about racing alone when the final race would be battle between two team mates and, even better, former best friends.  
So when he was asked about Lewis, Nico tried to sound as comfortable as possible: "I still have a lot of respect for him, inside and outside of the car."  
He thought he might have caught the other driver's mouth to form a small smile for a second but he could have been mistaken.  
He actually wasn't comfortable talking about them at all. Hell, he didn't even know himself what things were like between the two of them.  
Most of the time, he didn't dare to ask and Lewis didn't either. There were weeks when they didn't even talk to each other; when it was nearly not possible for Nico to breath the same air as Lewis.  
And then there were those times when things were quite decent; they would ask the other about their family or what they think of the new engine and they would just have a couple of minutes of small talk before they would both head back to their different lives.  
And Nico was fine with that.  
What he couldn't deal with were those times when Lewis would show up at his door at 3 am in the morning after a race day, still full of adrenaline and sometimes also alcohol, breathing heavily and whispering a slurred " _hi_ " before he would stumble into Nico's room, right into his arms, only to catch his head between his hands, bringing together their clumsy mouth and desperate hearts.  
But Lewis wasn't the only one to blame, he knew that.  
There had been times after a particularly bad or exceptionally good race for Nico when he had stolen Toto's universal key card to sneak his way into his team mate's hotel room. Most of the time, Lewis would already be asleep and he would crawl under the cold sheets of the Brit, spooning him from behind, placing an arm around the dark skinned's waist, his hand searching for Lewis' strong heart beat beneath his ribs while he would press a few soft kisses to his neck, whispering promises he knew he couldn't keep.

He was snatched back into reality when Lewis said: "We used to have a lot in common. We both loved pizza and eating boxes of kellog's frosties and doing crazy things."  
Nico couldn't hold back a smile that fell when Lewis continued.  
"I still do all these things. But Nico's shifted. He's obviously very focused on looking after himself."  
He could feel a lump building up in his throat at Lewis' words. Hearing him say that hurt, much more than he would like to admit.  
"Then we got to Formula 1 and this was something we had spoken about as kids", there was a strange tone to Lewis' voice, it sounded unusually empty.

Yes, they had. They had barely been able to stop talking about it, in fact.  
Nico remembered one particular day, when he had been at home with his family and Lewis had appeared at his door step.  
"What are you doing here?", he had asked and he'd grinned, already suspecting what Lewis was about to tell him.  
"I think I've made it, Nico. I think I'll drive a Formula 1 car next season. Nothing's completely safe but things are looking pretty good, man."  
And then Lewis had pulled him into a tight hug and Nico had held him while tears of relief were streaming down the Brit's face.

"We obviously had Ups and Downs", Lewis continued.  
_Definitely more Downs_ , Nico thought.  
There had been words none of them could ever take back, things they could never apologize enough for and then there had been that one time when Nico had slapped Lewis who had tried to kiss him, smelling of a female's perfume and wearing lipstick on his neck.

"But at the age we are, which is a pretty old", Lewis's lips escaped a low chuckle, "I think we've managed it pretty well."

And then there was hand on his thighs and Nico nearly _jumped_.  
Lewis gave his knee a quick squeeze and then started stroking him comfortingly while Nico swallowed hard and didn't dare to look at his team mate.  
Lewis continued, his voice a little shaky and full of emotions he wasn't able to hold back any longer: "Stepping away from our competitive selves, I am proud of him and how he's driven this year."  
Nico's attention for the press had disappeared the moment Lewis' fingers had made contact with his leg and he could hear his own blood rushing in his ears.  
Lewis had never shown him any kind of affection like that, they had even refused to shake each others hands before.  
But the Brits hand on his skin, calming him down, felt so natural and _good_ that it he couldn't quite believe it himself.

  
He only realized that the press conference was over when the stroking stopped and Lewis dragged him out of the room, out of the building and towards their motorhomes where he closed the door behind them and leaned against it.  
Nico was standing a few feet away from him, staring at the other drivers in confusion, his mind totally blank.  
"Don't look at me like that", Lewis eventually said, his brown eyes wide open.  
"Like what?", Nico asked.  
"Like you want to kiss me. You do that all the time", the Brit replied.  
"I don't", Nico shot back immediately and Lewis' gaze intensified.  
They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity to Nico.  
"The things you said... That was actually quite nice of you."  
"I _am_ nice", Lewis replied and shrugged.  
"Yes, I remember that."  
The silence between them wasn't just awkward, it was filled with all the things they used to be, all the things they had been able to talk about and couldn't anymore.  
It symbolized everything they had once had and all the things they'd lost on their way to the top.  
" _Nico_?", Lewis asked carefully and something in the way the other driver pronounced his name made Nico look up.  
"Yes?"  
"After the weekend... When one of us, probably you, has finally won the title, would you... Would you come over to Monaco?"  
"I'm living in Monaco, of course I'll go there."  
"Yes- I mean, would stay with me for a few days? To... I don't know man, sort things out?"  
The question startled Nico, was Lewis actually willing to overcome his _competitive self_?  
"Do you think we'd actually find something to talk about?"  
"I've never been a fan of talking, you know?"  
"What else do you want to do th-..."  
Before he could finish his sentence, Lewis had closed the gap between them, pulling him closer by placing an arm around his waist and a hand in his hair.  
Lewis' lips brushed against his softly at first, as if he was testing whether Nico would reject him once again, but he German didn't. In fact, he had lost his ability to move at all.  
Only when his team mate started licking his lips carefully and he finally got to taste Lewis, who was so so familiar, again, he started moving his lips against the Brit's.  
"God, I _hate_ you so much", Lewis breathed against Nico's skin when they parted due to a lack of air.  
_I love you too, Lewis._

 

_And we'll sort out how to say that out loud._

 

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so I know that this fic is 100% trash but after watching the press conference I felt like my heart had been ripped to pieces only to be mended back together in a slightly different way and there was an itching that hasn't faded since that, so I simply had to write that.   
> I hope I could at least make one of you happy by doing so.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
